3 Steps to deal with Admirers you do not want

 

Ashton Deroy Writes: So a few years ago when I was attending Loyalist College in 2014. I had a girl from my old high school bugging me on Facebook about her admiration for me.

 

This got pretty bad to the point where the clingy admirer named Ashleigh started claiming things such as “If you don’t love me I will kill myself, Ashton.”

 

What is my background with this woman? I danced with her at an MVD Dance while I was attending ENSS in Brighton Ontario.

 

So we went from innocent dancing to obsession! Something that, of course, terrifies me not only as an uninterested person but as a gay man.

 

My 3 steps to dealing with an unwanted admirer.

  1. Be Direct, Tell them you just are not interested
  2. Create distance, Only execute this step after you have told the party you are not interested. Blocking someone for no reason is both cruel and confusing for the other person involved.
  3. Call the police, If someone is needy, batshit crazy or stunned like Ashleigh. You should call the police to make sure they are not dangerous to themselves or anybody else. “Yes this is a huge pain in the ass for you, but so is someone interfering with your intimate relationships.”

How to deal with being an unrequited Admirer

 

 

As I said I do sympathize with the admirers in this situation, in 2015-2016 I was head over heels for a red headed Agender person in Belleville, Ontario, Canada named Steph.

 

I mean I was head over heels for this person, I used to walk to their house in the winter just to spend time with them when I thought they were lonely.

 

Back during this time I really thought time, friendship and favors would win me their heart. What I didn’t count on was the plain & simple fact that Steph was just an ugly, messed up and sad person who I could not help.

 

How did I get over my crush which leads to nothing but pain?

 

  • Dating, Start seeing people who I find attractive and who find me attractive. I’ve met all sorts of interesting guys in the pursuit of letting go of Steph. Honestly, I would not trade these experiences for anything!
  • Moving out of their area, Distance was a must in getting over Steph. As long as I was in Belleville I was going to follow them like a lost dog. So I moved back home to Brighton then moved to Toronto.

 

  1. Blocking them on Facebook, They don’t need to see what I am doing, and I don’t need to see them. The fact that they were on Facebook and I couldn’t simply talk to them was too painful so I blocked them and just let them go.

 

Facing rejection isn’t easy, but with a fresh dose of space and new intimate relationships. I think you will find an easy answer to freedom for your mind and heart!


 

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Message: Connect with Tracy Gerhardt, Love Winx Sales rep. 

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